Until Next Time...

Today, I had the last lectures for Intermission, the course that I have been doing for the past year.  I walked down the hallways and out the reception doors for the final time this year with mixed emotions.  So much has happened this year, some good and some bad and some interesting and some plain hilarious  but in a strange way, I'm going to miss this group of people I have come to known over the past year.  Intermission TwentyTwelves group was like someone decided to pick the most random group of strangers you could ever meet and put them in one of the most emotionally and spiritually draining/developing course you can think of.  Yet somehow, we seemed to make it through the year with no one being killed.

I still remember walking up to Carey for the first time and seeing Miss S standing there looking about as lost as I felt.  I walked up to her and we entered this new world together.  We walked up the steps to find Mr Jay, Mr H and I think it was Mr Jo sitting together.  We walked together as a slightly bigger group, collecting Miss R on the way, into lecture room two and found Sir along with Mr D and Mr W waiting expectantly for us to join them.   Mr N arrived a bit later with Mr A arriving even later and Mr S arriving even later after walking in the wrong direction for some period of time.  We were frightened little school children with no idea what we were getting ourselves into.  Little did we know what was coming.  Since that first day, we have laughed till we cried many times, sometimes about random town names or other inappropriate things that might be too risqué to mention here!  Let's just say the Chapel has some good memories.  Along with the laughs we've had our homeless nights, our times where we don't really feel like talking to anyone, our times of seriousness and our times of goodbyes.  We farewelled Mr W halfway through the year and then Sir two weeks into semester two.  Shaken a bit we hesitantly welcomed in Ma'am who has helped us grow into the individuals and group that we are today - whether we were ready for it or not!  Many more laughs and cries have happened since, but here we are at the end and it's all of a sudden time to say more goodbyes.

To Sir and Ma'am. Sir - you formed a base relationship with us that helped us take off at the beginning of the year. This relationship you formed for us included burping competitions, lameness, the wonky donkey song and challenges that continue to make me question what I'm doing. Ma'am - you us bought toilet paper, crayons, rice crackers and fruit and a wisdom that none of us could have expected.  Thank you for entering into this dysfunctional group halfway through the year and helping us get to the finish line.

To the rest of you.  Thank you.  Thank you for the hugs, for the words of encouragement, for the acceptance  for the laughs, for the talks and for just sitting and listening.  Thanks for the most dysfunctional, annoying, lame, most amazingly awesomely interesting year of my life.  All being said and done, it's been great. And truth be told, I am going to miss you guys a whole heap. I'm going to miss the hugs from Miss R, the words of encouragement from Miss S, the loud music from Mr D, the sarcastic chats with Mr Jo, the big but helpful questions from Mr Jay, the mothers day presents from Mr H, the wacky sense of humour from Mr s, and the pondering's from Mr A.  In short. I'm going to miss you all.

This year may have not turned out the way we expected it to, but let's be honest here, it's been a great year. As for the hallways of Carey?  I don't think this is goodbye but rather...
Until next time.

It's time to say goodbye

It's nearly the end of the year and that means it's time to say goodbye to some things.  On Monday we had our last hostel meeting.  We all sat in a circle and shared what we love about the hostel.  I can't remember what I said but it didn't express what I truly feel about this place, so I'm going to express it here.

I love this place.  I love the people, I love my room, I love the kitchen, I love sitting around the table and laughing about something ridiculous (uterus issues or baby vomit for example - don't ask).  I love how everyone here is now a part of my story and that they just naturally fit into my life.  I sometimes try and think back to before the hostel and to be honest I can't imagine my life without the place.  I came in expecting all these beautifully perfect people who formed cliques and shallow friendships and though I found amazingly beautiful people here, they all have amazing and open hearts.  They invite you in and they love you for who you are.  You can walk down into the dining area wearing track pants and a baggy hoodie and no one cares. There is always someone to say good morning to, and there is always someone to say good night to.  There is always someone to have a laugh with and someone to have a cry with.  There are people there to give you hugs and to be beside you when life crashes around you.  There is always someone there.  Always.  I don't really want to think about moving out of here.  Though I'm moving in with an amazingly awesome group of girls, it's hard to know I'm never really going to be in this environment again.  Simply put, I will miss this place.  A lot.

One last note to my roomie.  You are one of the best room mates ever.  Listening to cheesy music, dancing in our PJs, our conversations that we think are only going to last for one sentence but seem to go on for 50 and doing Zumba at midnight are just of the few things that I will miss doing with you next year.  Strive after God he's got your back. You have my number so call me... maybe?

Good bye ECH.  This year has been great.  We turned up as strangers and leave as family.

Photos

I like photos.  I especially like taking photographs.  So today I'm going to share with you some photos of my own :) Hope you like them! Sophie x

Life

Life is a pretty broad topic to cover but today in church, things that we have been told about all year at bible college clicked into place.  All year we have been exposed to the different communities that are made up by those in society that others want nothing to do with.  I must admit that I have been one of them and probably still am to some extent.  Before I go on, I'm just going to say bear with me while I try and get everything that I want to say out.  I'm still processing.

Life is short.  And we have the ability to do whatever we want.  All the excuses that we make saying that we're too busy or we don't have enough money are just excuses.  They're the one thing that has stopped me all year from taking a leap of faith and following God's voice.  I'm going to do my very best to explain how I'm feeling but I don't really have the words to say it.  'When you come to the end of all the light you know and it's time to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of the two things shall happen:  Either you will be given something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.' (Edward Teller)

I want to share a video with you.  It's not that inspirational and he's probably coming from a completely different side from me... no he is coming from somewhere completely different from me but he makes the point I want to make.  Just watch it.

"Life is to short to have regrets... Be happy.'

It's important to be happy with your life and I think that you should do whatever you should do to make yourself happy.  Maybe life is also about helping those who do live in worse conditions then you and I.  Maybe we find true happiness in helping others and seeing a change in peoples lives for the good of humanity.  Maybe we should just help.

Everything clicked in church today.  I was overcome with emotion as I sung 'Blessed Be Your Name' for the first time since Dawn died and as we watched the trailer for the 'Best Exotic Marigold Hotel' in which the line 'Everything will be alright in the end.  And if it's not alright, then it's not the end' comes from.  This quote was one Dawn and Merr hung onto for the last half a year that Dawn spent on earth.  If you don't know of Dawn, she was an amazing youth pastor and worker who has impacted my life so much.  She cared for everyone and accepted everybody - faults and all.  She impacted everyone who she came in contact with.  She died earlier this year after a year long battle with cancer.  Though she is gone, we are still being impacted by her.  People still talk about her and how she showed God and lived for him every day of her life - right until the end.  It's our turn to do that now.  We have our inspiration and we have God.  It's our turn to step out in faith and it's our turn to make a difference.

Who wants to join me?

I Will Survive

I MADE IT THROUGH THIS WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!

This week has been stressful, tiring, exhausting, emotional, and hard.  Lets start with Sunday...

SUNDAY
So on Sunday I got back from Wellington where I had spent the weekend with Miss S and Miss B - such fun! Anyway, I got back and had to finish a really hard assignment. So I started looking at that and to my horror I had missed out an extra source which meant pass or fail, so I had to look through extra sources and try to find one that backs up a point.  But then I had to go and look at a possible flat with the girlies (Miss P, G and M as well as Who 2).  Flat was small but still good.  Once we looked at it, we talked about  it and realised that flatting in a 6 isn't going to work, and I had to make a hard decision - did I want to flat in a small flat of 4 or a bigger flat of 5 with another flat below us? That decision happens later on in the week so more then.  I had to go back to my assignment then.  I really didn't want to but I had to as it was due in at midnight.  So I did it.  Finally. So Sunday was stressful and I was left with a big decision to make.

MONDAY
I was nervous going into Uni on Monday as it was the first day since some drama happened between some people.  So that wasn't fun going into.  I had lunch with my facilitator which was good and we talked about life for me as well as some stuff on the course.  And the matter was addressed in class saying that we would talk about it tomorrow.  Great.

TUESDAY
The day of the big talk.  I  hate confrontation and I hate confronting issues that I'm personally involved with.  So it was pretty hard for me to do but all in all the talk had to happen and I'm glad it did. It opened up the door for apologies to be said which was really good.  It's all in the past now so we can all just move on.  Well sort of.  If you pray, can you please keep one of the guys in my course in your prayers.  Something is going on with him and he needs help.  So it would be cool if you could keep him in your prayer pants!

WEDNESDAY
Wednesday was a day off thank goodness.  So apart from the stress of life hitting with choosing where to flat, and applying for jobs etc it was a pretty good day.  My Daddy's cousin picked me up in the afternoon and took me over to Takapuna where we talked for a couple of hours over coffee and chips and then she took me for a drive around the North Shore to show me where she lives and works.  It was really nice as I don't really get to do that without a car! She takes good care of me which means so much.  I also had to make the decision on Wednesday.  Great.  I hate decisions.  Especially ones that involve my friends.  But it came down to what was going to make more comfortable and I decided to go with the bigger flat with Who 1 and 2.  It is one of the hardest decisions that I had to make.  So glad it's over.

THURSDAY
I spent Thursday in a rest home just spending time with the elderly.  I was so drained physically and emotionally last night it was awful.  It was hard to spend time with them and see their lives slowly be taken away from them.  They have so many stories about life though and they are gorgeous but slowly but surly they are leaving this place.  It makes me think what I'm going to be like when I'm at their age.

So that was my week and under it all I've really struggled with my eating.  It'll all be ok though.

Until next time!
Sophie

GAH!

I'm back.  Was away over the weekend. Will write more when I can breathe.  This week is super busy so don't expect a post anytime soon!

Don't worry.
I haven't died.
Sophie
x

Good Ol' Val

Last night I was fortunate enough to go to the Olympic medal ceremony for Valerie Adams.  It was a once in a lifetime experience and it was so much fun!  I took Miss P along with me and we had heaps of fun.  We ate dinner on the wharf, took too many photos of New Zealand Celebrities and cared more about spotting Guy Williams than any of the other 'Celebs' that we could see!  Crack up!

I have to admit though, all the way through it, I couldn't help but think about the Belarusian athlete who had the drugs in her system.  Her coach said that he had spiked her food with the drugs and she had no idea that he was doing it.  Though there are obvious physical side effects, I can't help but wonder if she honestly didn't know about the drugs.  Yes her body was changing but when you're looking at yourself each day and you're not mentally aware of any change that is occurring, you can't see any differences in yourself.  I know it's not really the same, but when I was constantly putting on weight, I didn't see it.  You would Think I would notice that I was putting on weight, but honestly I couldn't see how big I was when I was there.  I can now, but when it was happening, I saw nothing.  I have to wonder if it was the same for her.  If it is the case that she had no idea about the drugs, how embarrassed and mortified would you be?  The Olympics would have been her life goal and her ultimate dream.  She thought she had won the medal fair and square and would have begun the celebrations, just to be stripped of her title and to be named a cheater in front of the whole world. How heartbreaking.  It would be an athletes worst nightmare.

And on the other hand, what drove her coach to drug her food? Did he not have enough faith in her ability in shot put so thought the only way to make her win would be to drug her food? I think it's so sad that he thought the only way to win would be to cheat.

Moral of the story?  Don't cheat, you will be caught in some way or another.

Sophie
x

I think it's time for an update!

So... I lost 2.7 kilos last week.  You proud? I am! I AM UNBELIEVABLY STOKED WITH MYSELF!!!!!  Now.  The trick is to keep going and do what I did what I did last week, which is track EVERYTHING and exercise every day.  I have to really watch myself as I find myself starting to slip back into old habits but we are going to do this! WE ARE GOING TO GET TO GOAL.  November 19th is the day that I need to get to, so that's two months away. Ah! EASY!!!! We can do this.

In other news, I got a B+ on an assignment, went to Kiwi-Yo last night (an amazingly awesome frozen yoghurt place in Mission Bay - it helped turn a draining day into a good one), and just played an awesome game of cards after about a week of not playing any.  A note here.  There is a group of people here at the hostel that are known for playing cards each night and we haven't in ages so it was nice to play again.

I don't really have much more to say really...

INSPIRATION FOR YOU MY FRIENDS:

Are your excuses more important than your dreams?

Ask yourself if what you are doing today is getting you where you want to be tomorrow.

It will hurt. It will take time. It will require dedication. It will require will power. You will need to make healthy decisions. It requires sacrifice. You will need to push your body to the max.  There will be temptation.  But, I promise you, when you reach your goal, it's worth it. (this is currently my iPod lock screen to keep me motivated :D)

Keep smiling!
Sophie
x

Can Life get any Harder?

God is in control.

The Smell of Summer

It's nearly summer.  Summer means hot long days, reading, sun bathing, family holidays, camping, and of course PARACHUTE MUSIC FESTIVAL!!!!!! For those who don't know, Parachute is the biggest Christian music festival in the Southern hemishepre.  It's 4 days of camping and music.  Good stuff it is.  I must admit, of the four years that I have been, I'm looking forward to this year the most  because A) The line up is AMAZING - Switchfoot, Newsboys, Hillsong, Family Force 5, AND Mumsdollar is reuniting for ONE concert at Parachute!!! - and B) there is hopefully going to be a big group from the hostel going which will be soooo much fun!  I've never actually stayed on site.  It's never really appealed to me.  A motel is just so much more appealing to me, you know with proper beds, a swimming pool, nice showers and toilets and you don't have to be around people 24/7 where as at Parachute, there is usually about 25 THOUSAND people camping in one spot (though this year it will be less) and it's hot and dusty and and LOUD.  But.  I have awesome friends going this year and I think I might actually stay on sight.  Hopefully Mum will still stay in the motel and I can sneak away there if times get desperate haha!  I'm really looking forward to it though.

I've been listening to music from artists who are going to be at Parachute next year and already I'm being transported there and I can smell summer.  Do you know what I mean? You know when something that reminds you of summer or anything really, you get transported to that time and place and it feels like you're there again? Well I keep getting that for summer.  It helps that these days are just gloriously sunny and warm.  It's fantastic.

Bring on Summer! No more assignments! Can't wait!
Sophie
x

Nothing Interesting...

Right outside my window is Mount Eden and I've just looked up at it to notice that I can see the (assuming here) couple who has found a nice hidey spot.  Little do they know that I can see them.  Not clearly, but still.  Heh heh. Tad stalkerish here haha! Oh! A really cute song has just come on my iTunes.  It's really cute! And it's called 'I Wanna Fall in Love' I just went on a mini mission to find the lyrics for you (boy oh boy, the things I do for you! :P) And here they are...

I wanna fall in love, I really wanna fall in love
Where the birds and the flowers have some kind of power on me
I wanna hold your hand, like no one’s ever held your hand
And we won’t need a plan when all our tomorrows are free


So look at me dear, I’m being sincere
I think you could be the one
So give me your hand and make me your man
Come on, let’s give it a run
Cuz I wanna fall in love


I wanna see you smile more than just once and awhile
So why do you hide it? I’ll make it appear, you’ll see
I don’t wanna take advice, I don’t wanna think about it twice
Just give me your heart, there’s nothing more I need

So look at me dear, I’m being sincere
I think you could be the one

So give me your hand and make me your man
Come on, let’s give it a run
Cuz I wanna fall in love oh
I wanna fall in love

And we won’t look back
We won’t look back
We’ll just fall in love
Yeah we won’t look back
We won’t look back
We’ll just fall in love


So look at me dear, I’m being sincere
I think you could be the one
Give me your hand and make me your man
Oh come on, let’s give this a run
Look at me dear, I’m being sincere
I think you could be the one
So give me your hand and make me your man
Oh come on, let’s give it a run
Cuz I wanna fall in love
I wanna fall in love


What if I just drove you around the town my love
Then you could drive me crazy my love
Said there’s nothing more that we need my love

And then my iTunes goes to the most whiniest song from High School Musical. No judgement please! I just skipped it because it was too whiny - and Who 2 and I agree that whiny songs are dreadful. Oh it has the CUTEST video ever - click here for it!!! WATCH IT!!! And I have just fallen in love with his music! Oh my gosh! So good! Just so you know you can add musician to my Gerard Butler look alike man list of qualities.  And he has to be good like this and then he can write songs for me and then sing to me and it will be all cute like and all! Wow.  He is really good.  His name is Tim Halperin BE TW DUB! He was on American Idol Season 10 but got eliminated pretty early on... Gosh those Americans ae?

This post has been really random... Sorry! I'm going to stop before I keep going on!
Bubye!
Sophie
x

Driving Home

I wrote this a couple of years ago.  Hope you like it!

Tonight whist driving home I saw a mother out with her two children star gazing, wrapped up to protect themselves from the cold. I saw a man waiting to be let into a house. I saw a single light on in an apartment building. What were their stories? Was the man at his girlfriends house apologizing for being such an asshole? Was the mother out with her children to show them a new world beyond the daylight? Was the single apartment light on because someone couldn't sleep? What is beyond my life that I still need to discover? What is the story behind the old man that grumbles every time someone sits next to him on the train and then proceeds to fart for the rest of the trip? My life is full of stories, but so is everyones. What is it about my life that is so special? What is it that people wonder when they see me walking down the street? Do they wonder about my story or do they duck their head as they walk by hoping that I hadn't noticed them? What is it that you think about me? Do you look at me and see just another person or do you see something different about me? My life isn't amazing, and I have no tragic story that goes along with it. But you see my life is special because it is a gift to my creator. My every breath is for God. But, it may not seem like that. My life has gotten to a point where I'm trying to find a resting place and something to follow for the rest of my life. God is meant to be the one, but what if there are things out there that I'm going to miss and regret doing if I follow him? Every life is a mystery and there are things that we'll never know about until we leap off a cliff and grow some wings and fly into a sunset. Every life is different and each person has a different story, so what's yours? Does yours stand out or is it a plain and simple life like mine, where you sometimes question the purpose of your existence, hoping that someone, anyone, would come and pluck you up and show you the purpose of everything. Life. Forever are we trying to find the meaning to all of this but are we ever going to find out what everything is for if we continue to stand and look up, terrified at the brick wall that stands in our way? How are we meant to jump over the wall and get to the other side where we can continue drawing closer to God? How are we meant to read the bible if we have heard the stories a billion times, to the point where you can almost recite them one by one in detail? How are you meant to know God if all the basic knowledge has been hammered intonation your head so many times that you need a deeper understanding of God before the basic knowledge becomes real?

Take one step at a time and stop to smell the roses and rest in the park benches, because without these stops and rests, you will never be able to appreciate the life that our Creator has given us, exciting background or not.

Have a good day!

Sophie

x

A New Goal with a New Plan

As most of you probably know, I'm on a journey of loosing weight.  Last year, I lost a total of 25 kilos - huge right???  However, this year has been quite challenging on quite a few levels and have seen me put on a few kilos... about 7 to be truthful.  Knowing this is so hard.  I reached my lowest weight at the beginning of the year, which meant in total I had lost about 27 kilos.  When I joined up with Weight Watchers in February last year, I was completely focused on my ultimate goal of losing 45 kilos and doing it in one year.  I admit it now, it was a tad ambitious, but I completely think that I could have done it, if I had stuck closer to the programme and incorporated exercise from the beginning of my journey.  However, that is now in the past and I am now here, not happy with how I have put on weight this year and wanting to get back on track and ultimately, get to my big goal weight. I was sitting an my desk this morning, watching videos of those who have succeeded in their weight loss journey with WW and crying because I've strayed so off track.  I've been complaining about it and been prideful about my journey as well.  I need to get off  my high horse, where I think I can do this journey by myself and don't need any help and admit that I do need help.  I need support and need encouragement.  I need reminding to keep to my plan and I need help.  So before I go onto explain my new plan and lay everything on the table, I need you, yes YOU to help me.  If you see me on a regular habit, would you be able to talk to me about how I'm going with my plan and encourage me if I'm feeling low, celebrate with me when it's been a good day and push me back on track if I'm straying.  If you don't see me regularly but are friends with me on Facebook, if you think of it, can you post something on my wall of encouragement, or private message me to see how I'm going?  Or if you're someone who has stumbled across this blog, if you feel like it, leave a comment.  I am not going to stay overweight forever and I'm going to hit this goal.  The time is now and I need to do this right now if I'm going to have a happy and healthy future.  I want to feel amazing and good again.  Please help me.  I beg you.

So this plan.  Ever since I've joined Weight Watchers, and before as well, I've known about the Healthy Life Awards and it's always been a dream of mine to enter and become one of the finalists, and be flown over to Aussie to take part in the finale week.  I still really want this to happen so this is my goal.  Entries this year closed on the 21st of August so I'm going to aim to be at goal weight on the 3rd of June 2013.  This gives me a chance to maintain and become a life member of Weight Watchers.  BUT this is just my ultimate goal.  My first goal is to get to 85 kilos on the 19th of November.  This gives me six weeks to kickstart this journey.  I'm not going to say and statements such as 'if I don't...' because thinking negatively about this situation doesn't work.  At the end of this post I will put a list of all of my goals and the dates that I want to achieve them by.  I am going to stick to this.  One of the main things that I am going to stick to throughout this is taking one day at a time, and also planning my meals for each day the night before. I am also going to put every meal into my online tracker after I've eaten it.  Exercise each day is a must.  Please hold me to this!  This journey is going to be successful and it's going to be long and hard and slow BUT it is going to be so worth it.  I'm going to feel fabulous and amazing and healthy! It is all going to be worth it.  This is going to be worth it.  It WILL pay off.

If you didn't know, I'm a Christian and I believe that everything that I do here on earth should be done for the glory of God.  God gave me this body to look after while I'm here on earth so today on day one of this journey I am going to commit this all to him.

Lord,

Thank you for this life that you have given me.  For everything that I have.  For my friends and family and the weight that I have already lost.  Thank you that I have the ability and the resources here available to help me lose weight with.  Please continue to be with me throughout this journey and strengthen me to get through the low and tough patches.  Every goal I have set before have flopped and I have never achieved them before.  Please let these goals be the ones that I keep.  Let them be the ones I reach and stick to.  Please Lord, support me and guide me through this journey.  I am ready to lose this weight forever and create a new and healthy lifestyle for me.  Be with me Lord and help me please.  I commit these plans that I have into your hands so that your will may be done throughout this journey.

In your name I pray,

Amen.

Right.  So here are my goals and dates below.

19th November - 85 kilos

31st December - 80 kilos

4th February - 75 kilos

8th April - 70 kilos

3rd June - 65 kilos

Enter HLA - August

Please help me and encourage me through this journey.

Lots of love

Sophie

x

Paris and Life

I think that is a good title for this post.  We'll reassess at the end anyway.

I had a nice long chat with Miss P this evening.  We're rather good at that you know.  We get along quite well and she's one of the reasons why this year has been so great.  Anyway, we were talking and I started talking about my love of all things France.  Well, more that Paris and France in general is on the top of my list for places I would love to go.  Actually, it's more places I'm hanging out to go.  That sounds weird... ANYWAY.  I really want to go there, this is my point.  I started looking at pastry courses you can do in Paris today and then ended up on Google maps and then may have stumbled across street view of the Eiffel Tower.  Things sort of stayed this unproductive throughout the rest of the day... I may have listened to 'La Vie En Rose' whilst dreaming of Paris - cliché I know, but hey, I'm a secret admirer of cliché, not so secret any more though! I was saying to Miss P that, even though Paris may be dirty and crowded, I still want to go there and experience it.  I want to go to the markets, to the Patisseries and Charcuteries and the Bakeries, and  the chocolate stores and the Louvre and the Champs Elysees... Ahhhh. Pariiiii!!!! I could quite happily live in Europe for a year I think.  I would love to anyway. Preferably with my husband (remember to keep your eye out for my Christian, motorbike riding, Gerard Butler look alike, Irish pastry chef  ;P) or I could always meet someone over there heh heh...  My dream is to travel though, and I want to go.  SOOOO BAD!

Life.  I've come to the realisation, that even if I have fallen off the plan, it doesn't mean that I need to change it for the next day, but rather just stick to the next days plan and just get straight back on the band wagon.  That and stay away from foods and drinks that mess with my stomach because no matter how nice they are, soooooo NOT worth it.

I think that was a rather fitting title for this post, don't you?
Right.  Exercise time.
Nighty night!
Sophie
x

I have a Problem...

Actually I have several problems.

1) I want to bake.  And I don't mean I want to bake just one thing.  Oh no no noooo.  I want to bake and continually bake.  I mean like lets bake a cake and then make a cheesecake and then make some biscuits and instead of keeping the recipe let's change it a bit and add some cinnamon and some chilli to it and see what it tastes like.  What if we microwaved it and then put it in the freezer, what would happen then??? This is what is going through my brain and as much as I would love to put these thoughts into action, I would feel EXTREMELY guilty doing such things at this hostel as, even though I'm paying rent, I also share the kitchen AND all the baking ingredients with 44 other people who would probably like some bench space as well.  I'm sure they would LOVE it if they had an endless supply of baking in the kitchen but I don't think Hosel mumma and dadda would appreciate me using all the ingredients in one day (especially since they've just done a shop AND we're coming into the weekend which means we need to be sensible with the food).  I just want to bake though!!! I really can't wait to finish studying so I can have my own little place, with my own AMAZING kitchen, and my own baking ingredients... ahhhhh.  Daydreams.  A great place.

2) I think I should get a job in procrastination as I have mastered it.  I have a big assignment due in in like 2 weeks and have I done anything? Oh I've only read one and a half chapters of the two I need to read and then I have to write an essay and then do some more reading and then re write it and then write it again.  I can't wait to finish studying.  Like, REALLY can't wait.

3) I may be slightly addicted to Grey's Anatomy... Enough said.

4) I am saying everything that I'm writing out loud whilst I'm writing it.  I think I'm going crazy! SOMEONE - HELP ME!!! I'm... I don't know what I am...

5) I want to buy things but have no money to do so... It might have something to do with all the money I spent at the beginning of the year BUT it was so worth it.  The clothes I bought I wear everyday, I SAW TAYLOR SWIFT LIVE - SOOOOO MUCH FUN!!!, I saw Rhys Darby live - halarious (I know it's spelt wrong, say it how it's spelt, it sounds awesome!), I've been to an opera, I've seen a real Degas painting, I've bought some AMAZING cook books that will stay with me for the rest of my life.  I think I've actually spent my money pretty well.  I have so many memories and have had so much fun this year.  It was all worth it. Totes worth it.  And yes I just did use the word totes, Miss B, if she read this, would appreciate it :)

I should really introduce you to my friends, with nicknames of course.  So there's Miss B and Miss S.  They're like my Biffles (BFFL in case you didn't pick that up!).  They're like TOTES Fab!! Primadonna girls for life!! Ha! You probably think I'm crazy by now, but hey if you didn't pick that up earlier, then you must be on the same page as me! YAY! I'm not alone! Ha! Alrighty.  Then there is Miss T.  She is my lovely youth leader.  Good stuff right there.  We're so similar it's ridiculous.  Though life has changed quite dramatically for both of us, there will always be a special friendship there.  In Jafa-land (Auckland), there is Miss P, Miss M, and Miss G.  These three lovelies are hopefully going to be my flatties for next year! We're going to like have the BESTEST flat EVAAAH! Then there is Who 1 and Who 2.  They like Dr. Who.  A lot.  Who 1 is the older of the two and knows how to do a shoulder roll and Who 2 , well she likes candy mountain!!! I'm going to be killed for that! As you can see, I'm really original with my nick names! Lets call those I play cards with the 500 crew and my course will me called... well, Intermission, because that's what the course is called.  Those are my friends that I will most likely talk about in the coming posts, so I thought I better introduce you to them.

Right.  I'm hungry.  Lunch time.
Mwah!
Sophie
x

Being a Girl

This is going to be a rather girly post and I'm going to talk about boys, which is a girly thing to do and according to some of the guys at the hostel, it's all us girls ever talk about.  (Ha! SOO not true... I hope)  Anyway.  Boy talking time.  Boys.  Boys, boys, boys.  Can't live with them and can't live without them... Great.  Over the past week, I've been getting some perspective on boys or rather my attitude towards them. (On a side note, hostel Dad has just finished mowing the lawns and the peace and quiet is A-MAZ-ZING!!) ANYWAY.  I know you all want to hear about my love life.  Well. Actually.  There isn't one.  I'm currently sitting in my room by myself listening to Celine Dion, single much?!  Over the past week I've decided that I'm sick of trying my hardest to be noticed because, lets be honest, A) no body likes a desperate try hard, and B) It's exhausting - emotionally and I'm sure physically at times too (like playing soccer in the mud - don't ask.)  So I have decided to stop trying and start living my life for me and God.  To create a life that, to quote Celine Dion's song (well sort of), makes me happy.  If I live my life trying to please others, make a guy notice me, and where I'm not being my normal self so I'm not judged, I don't think that's a very pleasing or satisfying life for anyone really.  When a guy notices me living life as happy and confident me and decides that he wants to get to know me a bit better, than he can do the chasing.  In my opinion, that's how it should be.  Also, this guy, whoever he is, is going to be Irish, rich, Christian, a pastry chef/architect, rides a motor bike and is a Gerard Butler look a like (or the other guy from P.S I Love You that Hilary Swanks character falls in love with, he also plays Denny in Grey's Anatomy.) Speaking of Grey's Anatomy, I think I'm a tad obsessed/addicted, but that's another story for another day.  Remind me won't you to write about Grey's?  So if you find a guy who fits my description, CALL ME!  Nah, just kidding, that's a tad stalkerish, just link him to my facebook page or this blog ;P

Oh and please don't tell me that 'I'm a sweet, kind, pretty, beautiful, [insert nice descibing word here] girl, and that there is a boy out there for me' because A) I would preferably like a man rather than a boy - don't really see myself as a cougar you know and B) I KNOW SO PLEASE DON'T KEEP REMINDING ME! I don't need to keep hearing this, I would just like to vent and you to just sit there and listen.  Deal? Deal.

Right.  Assignment time.  Blogging is a good procrastination tool in case you were wondering.
Sophie
x

P.S This is my 50th blog post on this blog - YAY me!

The New Plan

I think I wrote about how I'm planning all my meals a week in advance in a previous post... If not, I'll tell you now.  I'm planning all my meals a week in advance because I like planning and then I don't have to think about meals when I come to them and make bad decisions.  Yesterday I stuck to it and I feel really good today, like I'm in control - it's great! I have a goal to lose seven kilos by the end of the semester.  That's in about seven weeks so really it's seven kilos in seven weeks.  This is the ultimate goal, but I'm taking each day as it comes and each day, the goal is to stick to the plan.  So far so good today.  I really like doing this because I'm able to plan in treats and have something to look forward to during the week.  For example, Sunday for breakfast I'm having nutella on toast, because I love nutella and I'm not going to deny myself the foods I love but I do need to eat them in moderation.  If you love planning and organising, I suggest you try this out, even if it's just for one week, try it! It's quite fun and rewarding actually.  I should probably think of something as an incentive to lose the seven kilos... Something I really want is usually a good idea... Let me think about this and I'll let you know what I decide when and if I do.

Anyway, I need to go and start my assignment.
Until next time,
Sophie
x

Mr. Darcy and Plans

I begun to watch the BBC version of Pride and Prejudice with some friends yesterday but it was decided 20 minutes in that it was time for coffee so off we went to retrieve some coffee (or a chai latte if you're me - they're rather lovely aren't they?!). Anyway, several hours later we returned and put on the Kirea knightly version so we could at least introduce the friend who did not know the story of P&P (how is she friends with me and hasn't seen Pride and Prejudice?!?!).  After getting over the fact that some people don't want to sit through the BBC P&P, I started thinking about Mr. Darcy and how is framed as one of literatures most beloved male love interests (I made that up, but hey, it's basically true!).  How could anyone be so attracted to someone so rude and prideful?!? Yes, he is kind to his sister and the Bennet girls once he realizes that he's in love with Lizzie, but still! How could Lizzie fall in love with someone who a) insults her at the ball, b) separates her sister from her true love and c) see her family as lowly and rude? Both Colin Firth and Matthew McFadden make quite good looking Mr. Darcy's, but still you can't just go on looks... well you could, but it might not turn out the best... ;P  Anyway!  I personally think, no matter how nice Mr. Darcy turns out in the end, he's still the same person from the beginning of the film/book, so wouldn't he still have the traits of 'pridefullness' and rudeness about him?  I LOVE the Darcy at the end of the story and would without a doubt date him (most likely), BUT I can't get over the fact that it's almost like he's two different characters in one story... I don't know... What do you think??

Oh and I have made a plan for my eating.  Before I moved to Auckland, I spent about two weeks planning every single meal a week in advanced to try and help my eating and I loved doing it.  I'm a planner and love to be organised, so doing something like this made my good eating as fun as it could be.  It was great as I was able to work in treats and desserts etc and gave me something to look forward to during the week. So, I'm going to try doing this for the last couple of months that I'm in Auckland for this year.  I've printed off my weekly schedules and have planned my first week, which starts tomorrow.  I've got everything sorted.  The one thing that I have found so hard this year is having Monday to Friday dinners and Tuesday and Wednesday lunches made for me.  This has made it quite difficult to do the points for, but for this plan, I have just allocated a certain amount of points of each dinner (12 and for dessert night 20).  Hopefully this works.  I'll let you know how it's going in a bit!

I think that is all for now...
Until next time!
Sophie

Oh! HAPPY FATHERS DAY DADDY!!!

Changes...

Yes.  I have changed this blog.  I decided it was time to grow up and I wanted to change this as well as my life.  So this is now going to be a place where I can talk about everything in my life not just weight loss, because even though it is important and needs to happen, I don't want it to define me as it has over the past year.  I have been 'Sophie - the girl doing weight watchers and struggles with eating' but now I'm just 'Sophie.'  Welcome to my thoughts.

So.  Why the change? I need one.  I need a new outset on life.  I don't know about you, but I tend to over think a lot of things and read into things that I hope are there, but actually, it turns out that I make a lot of this stuff up in my own head.  So, after a few things came crashing down on top of me, my friends kidnapping me yesterday and me starting to track again today, I needed a change and a place to vent.  So I changed my blog.  I think I'll enjoy updating it a bit more if it's about my life rather than just my weight loss journey as that got a bit tedious always saying that I had stuffed up again over this week.  I will continue to update you on my journey to goal because I think it's good to.  Oh and excuse the randomness of writing, but hey this is a place of my thoughts, and this is how my brain is.

One last thing, I'll try and update this as I have something I want to share or it's been a while, so bare with me!

Hope you are enjoying the lovely weather!

Sophie

And I'm Back

Hello!

Sorry about the absence from this blog.  I have just spent a week at home for a funeral and have had assignments and the lot to do for uni, BUT I'm back now!  So here we go, celebrations and encouragement.

Celebrations!
1. I have been doing 75 sit ups for the past three nights.
2. My abs really hurt.
3. I am feeling confident in myself and I mean honestly and truly confident.
4. Life is good - there may be crappy things happening and challenges along the way BUT life is good.

My Encouragement for you...

Everything will be alright in the end, and if it's not alright then it's not the end - in honour of Dawn Withers.

Until next time! (which will hopefully be next week!!!)

Sophia

Sorry!!

Hello!
Sorry for the break that has just happened, have been at home for the past week with dealing with some things, will update this properly soon!
Sophie

Another One Goes By

Over the past couple of weeks I've been trying to train myself so I'm not constantly thinking about food.  I don't know about any of you, but I find myself thinking about food A LOT.  It's like it's the only thing that I think of at times and it bugs me.  So I've been thinking about this and trying to flip my thinking around and I've come to the conclusion that if I can train myself to not be thinking about food all the time and just focus on it when I'm hungry or have to decide what I'm having for a meal, then that's half the battle won.  So this is becoming my tactic - that and smaller portion sizes.

So, celebrations!

1) Over the past 2 weeks I have lost 900 grams - that's 300 grams per week!!

2) I did 50 sit ups in a row.

3) I held a pelvic tilt for 3 minutes

4) I got dressed up and went to the opera with a big group of friends

Good times and memories :)

My encouragement for this week

Keep going.  Don't give up.  Look for a positive in every situation.

Until next week!

Sophie

xo

And another week...

Good morning, good morning! It's we stayed up  late, good morning, good morning to you! And you and you and you!

So this pretty much sums up my week - A LOT of late nights and now I'm really feeling how little sleep I got throughout the week! Last night I went to be at 10.30, got up at 6.30 this morning and the went back to be at 7.30 and just got up at 9.30.  I'm exhausted! I should really learn from this...

ANYWAY - onto my celebrations and words of encouragement :P

CELEBRATIONS!!!

1) I lost 600 grams this week
2) I did 100 crunches in a row
3) I did 40 full sit ups in a row
4) I went to my hostel ball and looked HOT

Me and my roomie :D

My word of encouragement

I may have stolen this from the Australian Weight Watchers page so sorry if you've already seen it - I just love it!

Have a FANTASTIC week!

Sophie

xo

A Change

In life, everything has a season.  That's what I think anyway.  So, this blog is going to enter a new season.  Instead of a place for me to complain about how badly my journey with weight loss and confidence is going, this is going to be a place of celebration and inspiration for all of you who read this and for me.  I'm going to update it at least once a week, on a Wednesday most likely and in each post I have to say at least three things that I can celebrate for the week and something that I have found inspirational over the week that I want to share with you. The celebration is going to be about anything but at least two of the three things need to be about my weight loss journey and then I can brag about anything in my last one. Basically this is going to be a brag corner. So when I post something, write a comment and brag about your week! It would be awesome to share this last part of my journey with you all (however many there are of you!).

So this weeks celebrations:

1) I lost 900 grams

2) I did 40 full situps in a row (plus extra stuff as well)

3) There is a gap growing between my thighs

4) I dyed my hair

And your weekly inspiration

Just looking at the semi finalists for the Healthy Life Awards (check them out here) and HOLY COW there are some amazing stories!! Like this guy and this amazing lady.  There are heaps more but these are the ones that stood out the most for me.

Hope you're having a good week!

Until next time!

Sophie

x

I'm Back!!!

Sorry for the long break! I've just finished a trip for my course and am now on holiday!  I'll post an entry next week and let you all know how I'm doing!

Sophie
x

Week 26

I gained 800 grams this week BUT I tracked for two weeks, have done 10 full sit ups ever each day for the past week AND I went for an hour and a half swim this morning.  PLUS I have an exercise plan and I'm going to make a chart and will put it up here for y'all to see so that when and if you're talking to me you can ask me if I'm keeping to it.  I'm actually LOVING this exercise, I just feel so great and alive and awake (which is good considering my sleeping habits at the moment :P student life ae? hehe).
So here we go, doing exercise - YAY!

Oh and this is all with an exercise partner and it is SO much better when you actually do exercise with someone! So get an exercise buddy! You won't regret it!

Sophie

Week 25 and Challenge Catch Up

So I gained 1.7 kilos this week.  Great. It's been six months on this lovely plateau and I don't seem to be getting anywhere.  Of course, it's my own fault for not being more proactive in exercise and eating the right things, but it's still hard.

The challenge. Hmmm... I said to someone this morning that I'm going to start again, but actually I think I'll keep going.  I've set all these goals for myself and I haven't really reached any yet, so I'm going to stick out the 6 weeks and I'm going to stick to the rules and I'm going to do it.

Lets hope this determination lasts!
Sophie

Week 24

Guess who lost 800 grams this week? If you guessed me, you would be right!!! Give yourself a pat on the back! I feel so much better since starting this six week challenge, I feel lighter and I can tell that my body is getting smaller, just in one week! It's awesome!

I will continue to do what I'm doing and hopefully we'll see more weight gone next week!
Well, back to 'studying' I go!
Sophie

One Week Down, Five to Go...

Today marks one week of the six week challenge and boy am I feeling great!  I feel lighter already and am enjoying the food that I am eating.  I mostly stuck with the programme this week, one slip up in which I had to fork out $5 for but apart from that everything was A-OK!  Since I'm doing this challenge, I've been looking at healthy desserts since I have a real sweet tooth.  So far I've found two which are sooo nice!  The first one is stuffed baked apples - click here for the recipe.  Instead of the pecans I used hazelnuts and I did it with cranberries and raisins instead of currents.  VERY tasty!  The second is baked apple crumble.  Similar to the stuffed baked apples but instead of having the whole apple, you chop it in half and scoop out the core and make a bit of a hole.  You then put crumble topping in the hollow and sprinkle on top.  Bake until the apples are soft and the topping is golden and crunchy.  Again - YUM!

So that's me for today, one more thing though.  Four more girls have joined in on the challenge making it the five week challenge for them. It's so nice having heaps of people around me doing the same thing - makes it just that bit easier!

Until Wednesday weigh in!
Sophie

I am writing this before I forget to otherwise it will never be done!  I lost 400 grams this week! That is now a kilo over the past two weeks! YAY! Slow and steady is the race which I think will be my new motto - sound good?  The six week challenge is going really well.  I've kept of track for the past three days which is awesome and I'm super keen to see how the rest of the time goes - it'll go really well I'm sure of it! :D

On another note, the book 'Baking with Julia' arrived today!!! It is an AMAZING cook book and I love, love, LOVE it! Possibly not baking anything out of it for a while, but for now I'll just dream... :)

Until monday!
Sophie

The Beginning of a Six Week Journey

Today is the start of the 'programme' that I am doing with one of the girls at the hostel.  I am really excited about this as it's a new part of my weight loss journey.  An added bonus is having a time frame on it - 6 weeks. It's nice having this time frame on this instead of just doing things day in and day out not really knowing how long you're going to do something for.  So what is the plan you may ask?  Well here it is (in brief).  5+ a day, do exercise at least 4 days a week, cut down on bread and carbs etc and no junk food.  We're allowed junk food once a week but even then it's only one milo or one biscuit or a small bowl of ice cream.  So it's like going cold turkey for 6 weeks but it's so worth it and I CAN DO THIS!  I am going to look and feel FANTASTC at the ball and no-one can stop that except for me :D

I'll keep doing my wednesday/thursday posts plus on on monday I think so keep checking in!

Sophie
x

Week 22

I lost weight this week! Yay! 700 grams gone.  This week has been a really good week for me.  I have a friend in the hostel who is keeping me accountable each day with my eating which is so good! Rather then a rewards scheme, she'll embarass me if I do the things that I'm not suppose to do that day, which seems to be working quite well for me.  And for an added bonus another girl at the hostel and I are going to do a healthy eating plan thing starting next week! We keep each other accountable, have to pay each other $5 if we don't do something we said we would and we get stickers at check points! This is to help me get to my goal of below 80 kilos by the hostel ball so we have a dead line which is fantastic.
I'll let you know how this all goes!
Sophie
x

Week 21

 I gained 600 grams this week.  It's a gain unfortunately.  I'm finding eating hard as usual but I'm going to look and feel FANTASTIC for the hostel ball this year so I'm going to keep plodding through.

Sophie
xo

Just to clear things up...

Just so you all don't get too excited, I don't have a date to the hostel ball like it may seem from the previous post.  I was meaning the date as in when it is!!! It has made my day that people care about what is happening in my life up here though so thank you :)

Until next week!
Sophie

P.S. If you really do want to know, I will update you if any of this changes - small chance though!!!! ;P

Week 20

I lost 800 grams this week! YAY!  My trick at the moment is to take one day at a time and to be really aware of what I'm eating and so far it's going really well.

On another note, I have a date for the Hostel ball - it's going to be on the 21st of July, so I'm still going to keep to my plan of getting under 80 kilos by the end of the semester so that I can go shopping for a dress during the holidays - and it's going to be a killer of a dress as well hehe ;P

Right.  I need to stop procrastinating and go write my essay.

HELP!
Sophie

Week 19

So this week was a MUCH better week then last week.  I have been more focused and aware of what I'm eating AND I tracked for 2 and a half days.  It's not a whole week BUT it is better then nothing.  Plus, I lost 1.6 kilos this week!!! YAY FOR ME!!!
This weeks plan is similar to last weeks, just take one day at a time and take it slowly.
Until next week!
Sophie

Week 18

Well I did it. I STAYED OUT OF THE FORBIDDEN ZONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YIPPIE!!!! haha Only by 100grams but that is enough for me! AND I tracked all day today AND stayed within my points!  Lets take each day one step at a time ae?

Until next week
Sophie

A Little Rant & Rave

Apologies for the following post - I need to vent.

I HATE NOT BEING ABLE TO EAT WHAT I WANT WHILST HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT WHETHER I'M OVER MY POINTS ALLOWANCE FOR THE DAY OR NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!  I hate wanting to say no to food but then going ahead and saying yes anyway. IT'S MORE SATISFYING WRITING IN CAPITALS SO THIS IS HOW IT'S GOING TO BE FOR THE REST OF THE POST.  SORRY.  I HAVE JUST EATEN A GOOD COUPLE OF CHUNKS OF CHOCOLATE CAKE. I CAUGHT MYSELF STUFFING OVEN FRIES INTO MY MOUTH. I SAT WITH A SMALL MIXING BOWL FULL OF POPCORN COVERED IN OIL SALT AND ICING SUGAR ON MY LAP THE OTHER DAY AND ATE IT ALL.  I AM FAILING MISREABLY AT THIS WHOLE WEIGHT LOSS THING.  I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT I WILL BE OVER 90 KILOS TOMORROW AFTER I FOUGHT SO LONG TO GET UNDER IT I KNOW I WILL BE OVER IT TOMORROW.  Rebekah, if you see this before tomorrows meeting, I don't want to come and I don't want to know if I'm over 90 or not...  Back to ranting. I know these cycles quite well now.  I'll track for a week or two, lose a bit of weight, sort of track, sort of lose weight but gain a bit, and then there's the stuff your face part where I eat anything and everything in my sight, and then straight after that it's the beat yourself up and feeling INCREDIBLY guilty and sick and want to just somehow break through this wall that is stopping me getting to the end of this journey.  Help me? Someone or something?  Anyone one got a really big hammer that they want to lend me so I can smash down this lovely big wall that I have gotten to know oh so very well over the past couple of months?  I want that feeling of 'yes I can do it and I want to do this' that I had at the beginning of my journey.  It was so easy then and it was so nice ot know that I was actually doing something about my weight, but now it's just depressing.  I know I can say no to food but it's like I don't want to...  it's like I'm holding onto something that has 'controlled' my life and it ain't letting go and it sucks!  Who wants to do this for me? Any volunteers? Anyone??? Why does it have to be so hard? Why does this seem to become the main focus of your life when you're doing it? Did you know I've noticed things changing as I've put on weight.  My face is a little rounder, my hands are a tad chubbier and my thighs a little wobblier... All the things that I didn't miss are starting to come back and I'm starting to be fat again.  I've always been the fat girl and finally for once in my life, people were calling me slim and skinny and saying how hot and good I look and I believed it and knew it for myself.  Finally believed it.  Do I believe it still? Nope.  Not at this very moment.  I want to get back there.  I want to go back to the happy and confident girl that I have been over the past couple of months.  Over this past year actually...  I keep making these goals and promises to myself but there's a voice in my head that tells me that I won't make it, that I won't be able to say no to that bowl of ice cream or that piece of cake.  I need a plan I think.

Thanks for listening to Sophie rant.  Tune in next time to hear more of her lovely struggles in her weight loss journey.

Week 17

Before I begin, I would like to apologise for any really dumb errors in this post.  It is late and I am tired.

I had a fantastic Easter and I am feeling fantastic about myself. I look hot, feel beautiful (as much as I hate the word for some reason), and also feel quite slim as everyone keeps telling me!  Tip - don't see really close friends for a couple of months and lose 2 kilos and you'll get compliments galore when you see them next.  You appreciate them more for some reason.

Anyway, enough with the babbling.  I gained a great big 2.2 kilos this week. Yippie! I don't actually care to be quite honest.  I feel fantastic, look even better and it was Easter.  What do you expect?  My goal this week however is to track and plan the whole week so I'm not screwed when it comes to eating.  So fingers crossed ae?

Until next week!
Sophie

Week 16

I lost 900 grams this week :D I'm very happy.

I would like to share a realisation that I had over this week with you.  Over the past year, I've been so focused on loosing the weight that I need to that I haven't really been able to step back and acknowledge the awesome work that I have achieved.  I've lost 26.2 kilos over 1 year! That is soo much! I've just come home for my 'study break' (cough cough :P) and my suitcase for the time here was about 21 kilos, and Oh. My. Gosh.  It was soooo heavy, I have no idea how I ever carried that amount of weight around 24/7. I've lost a lot, which is awesome.  I also realised this week that I've been so focused on loosing the weight that I haven't actually been focusing on some internal issues that I have like the way that I see myself.  So, what I'm going to try and do is focus more on the way that I view myself more than the weight loss side of things.  I'm still going to track and be conscious of what I'm eating, but that isn't going to be my main focus.  In my opinion, it's great loosing weight, but if you don't value the work and effort that you've put in over the journey, and you don't value yourself in the way that you look then the weight loss isn't going to be as rewarding as it could be and it isn't going to take away any self esteem issues that you may be dealing with (unfortunately!).  I've still got my goal to reach by the end of June, but the number on the scale isn't going to control me!

Think of me when you're in your nice warm beds this weekend - I'm off to Easter Camp to sleep on an air bed and be freezing cold :P Going to be heaps of fun though! CAN'T WAIT!!!!

Have a great week and Happy Easter!

Sophie

Week 15

I put on weight this week.  1.4 kilos to be exact.  I knew it would happen but that still isn't an excuse.  I've realised today that I need to stop playing the victim in all of this.  No-one else can loose the bloody weight for me so I should just stop my complaining! On Facebook, photos of me from about a year ago are popping up and boy oh boy did I get a shock!  I was FAT.  And the funny thing is that I didn't see it and people I talk to are saying that they never saw it too.  It's very weird but SO good not to be that big anymore.

Anyway, news time!  I have set myself a goal!  So I have 12 weeks to lose 6.8 kilos and if I reach this goal by the 20 June, then I'm going to buy myself a really nice dress.  And not just any dress from any store like Pagani or anything, I'm going to go somewhere flash, somewhere where I would have never dreamed of going this time last year.  And after this goal, once I lose another 4.9 kilos on top of that, I'm going to buy myself a really nice pair of shoes to go with the dress.  My goal is to have both of these things in time for the Hostel ball which is going to be late this year.  So watch out fellow hostelers - I'm going to be the belle of the ball!!!  HAHA!

Hope you all have a good week!

Sophie

Week 14

This morning when I stood on the scales I thought I had only lost 300 grams which was pretty good considering my week of bad tracking.  But when it came to entering my weight in online, it turns out I lost 1.3 kilos over this past week!!!! GAH! SO stoked!!!  It just shows what a difference being concience of what you're eating can make.
This week will most likely be a bit of a challenge as I have a big weekend ahead of me, but I am going to try my absolute best to stick to tracking, no matter what I eat.  However, I am going to try and stick within my points and watch my portions and just be aware of what I'm putting in my mouth.
This will be a good week :D

Sophie

Week 13

Confession take to.  I put on weight again this week and I have no excuses to give you.  And again, I overate this week.  This is much harder then I thought it would be and to be quite honest, it sucks.  Why can't it be easy?  Why can't the weight just fall off? 
Just like to say that it ain't fair.

But.

I'm not going to give up.  I'm going to pick myself up and dust myself off and start all over again.

Help me?

Please?

Week 12

Confession time.  I gained 1kg this week.  Not so great but hey, I'm back on track so that's the main thing.  I think this past week I've been trying to get my head around a few things and have turned to food to try and force it away but surprise surprise, it hasn't worked.  Some people find that starting up a hobby helps with this and turns their attention away from the thoughts of food (yes that's right, some people think about food, including me, and it screws with your thoughts real bad!), but you see I know what I should be doing to stop me from eating.  I'm a Christian and for the past week or so, have been struggling with something that I know I can find peace for in the bible and through prayer, but I haven't wanted to.  But these past couple of days I've been praying and reading my bible, and things have started to work together again.  Don't get me wrong, it is still extremely hard and my God hasn't magically taken every struggle with my eating and the other problems I'm trying to work through, but He's walking along side with me, helping me through these rough patches.

Hope you all have a great week!!!

Sophie

Week 11

Another week down and another 2.5 KILOGRAMS gone!!!!! YAY!!!!  When I stepped on the scales this morning, I really couldn't believe that I had lost 2.5kgs! SO stoked!!!!  AND, I got to my 5% goal today, well actually I went past it by 600 grams, so Rebekah, I'm going to come and buy that cookbook off you when I'm next down in Welly!!!
When you get to a major goal in your weight loss, Rebekah would ask us what has helped us along the way.  In the past couple of weeks, it has been tracking for me and since I haven't been able to control a lot of what I'm eating, I've had to control portion sizes and over estimate point values.  Which has helped a lot I'm sure.  Another key thing that I've been doing is eating a lot more veges, which has really helped me stretch my point allowence for the day and week. 
Yesterday, we got a free lunch on campus and I found myself turning down the slice that they had to offer for dessert as I had already had had some biscuits for morning tea.  I have to say that I was very proud of myself as I was substituting and using skills that I have learnt throughout the past year in the meetings for WW.
I should really go and study now... fun fun :)

Have a great week!!!
Sophie

Week 10

For the first time in months, I have tracked for 5 days in a row.  And guess what?  It is so worth it!!!! I lost 2.1kg (from my geusstimated weight last week)!!!! YAY FOR ME!!!! I'm so stoked, it's nice to have a weight loss that isn't going to go back on next week.  Where I am now living I am eating salads everyday along with using wholegrain bread instead of white.  And since I no longer have a stead income, I can't just buy anything that I want from the shops which is FANTASTIC.  I think this is what I've needed for the past couple of months; a big change and surrounded by lots of skinny people who, even though they don't know it, keep me motivated.

So for this week, I am going to track every day, keep drinking heaps of water and eating healthy and hopefully, I'll loose even more :D

Have a fantastic week!

Sophie

Week 9

So.  I'm in Auckland.  And I've put on weight.  The worst part is, I don't need scales to tell me.  But, today I've signed up with WW online so I can continue with my weight loss journey up here in Auckland.  We're going to buy me some bathroom scales and a measuring tape so I can track accurately.

I am looking forward to this.

Sophie

Weeks 7 and 8

So it's probably time to suck it up and tell y'all how weigh in was on Thursday.  Well, first of all my holiday was lovely.  Absolutely one of the best holidays I've ever had.  And at the end of it, I had a nice, big gain of 2.7 kilos.  Now, before you start judging and thinking what on earth did she eat, because I ate  A LOT, I'm OK with this gain, in fact I don't really care.  I'm in the middle of a huge change in my life and until it settles down, I am most likely going to struggle with loosing weight and with my eating.  Until I'm settled down in Auckland, I am going to do WW online and have got myself a pedometer so I can have a set out goal for me each day.  I am going to focus on my portion sizes and incidental and purposeful exercise.  I will track at least once a day and slowly introduce that into my daily routine again.  And don't worry, I will still update this regularly. Next time I write here, I will be in Auckland! YAY!!!!

Happy eating!
Sophie

Week 6

Guess what happened this week that I didn't expect?  I lost 500 grams!!! I am not going to complain because after the week I had with eating, this is a miracle! Ha!
With this lovely thing called emotional eating, I've begun to realise that I'm not actually craving the foods that I've been eating anymore.  Things like chocolate and biscuits that I used to want ALL the time (NOT joking), I just don't want anymore YET I still eat them.  It's like I'm programmed to eat like this at the moment and I don't know how to change it... Well actually I do,  I just have to say no but it is sooooooooo hard.  Before I know it, my hand is at my mouth yet again.
So these next 2 weeks, I'm away on holiday with the family and my goal is to maintain my weight.  To achieve this, I am going to focus on my portion sizes and what I'm putting into my mouth.  And I'm not going to deprive myself of treats as it is a holiday, but any treats I do have will be the right portion size, I promise.
I'll see you all in 2 weeks!
Happy eating!
Sophie

Week 5

So after a rather indulgent week, to say the least, an expected gain of 400g showed up today at weigh in.  To explain th 'yo-yo' in my weight in the moment, for those of you who don't know, I'm in the process of getting things ready for moving cities in the next couple of weeks, so I'm finding myself comfort eating a lot since I'm a bit stressed.  So to try and combat this lovely thing of comfort eating, I am planning this weeks eating and working out meals and treats that I can make tomorrow so they can all be chucked together when I want to eat them.  My theory is that if I have everything planned, including my treats, I won't really need to use my 49 extra points, which will hopefully give me a boost in my weight loss... this is the plan and I am GOING to stick to it.  One thing that I have learnt from planning what I am going to eat in advance is planning in treats and desserts gives me something to look forward to at the end of the day AND I don't have to feel guilty about it which is an added bonus.  So wish me luck on this new week and I will let you know how it goes next week after weigh in.

Until next week,
Sophie

Week 4

I had a lovely time away and also had a bit of a loss this week - 600 grams which I am extremely proud of.  While I was away, I have to be honest, I din't track and was wondering if I was going to loose anything because I don't usually when I don't track, so when I did I started thinking about how I had been eating over the couple of days I was away.  The place where I was staying was more of a lifestyle block I suppose and the meals that we ate, mostly came from their backyard or a family members place.  When I was eating, I was eating food that is good for you and isn't processed and on top of that I wasn't snacking the way I do when I'm at home.  I was enjoying the beautiful food while I was away and I savored every last bite, which I don't do as much at home.  I think for the next couple of weeks I need to get into the habit of savoring every las bite and really enjoying the food I eat.  Oh and I also discovered over the past week that even though I may eat junk food, I don't really want it anymore.  Hopefully it'll last :P

Until next week,
Sophie

Week 3

So, I gained 300 grams this week BUT i did track everything I ate!  That was my goal for the week and so I treated myself to a WW Magazine.  Very happy!  About to go away for a week to lovely sunny Blenheim (hopefully).  My goal for this week is to keep to small portions and to TRACK!!! So i'm going to head off to the Blenheim meeting on wednesday to keep myself on track so I'll let you know how I went on the friday after I come back.
Hope you have a good week and I'll write soon!

Sophie