So this week was a MUCH better week then last week. I have been more focused and aware of what I'm eating AND I tracked for 2 and a half days. It's not a whole week BUT it is better then nothing. Plus, I lost 1.6 kilos this week!!! YAY FOR ME!!!
This weeks plan is similar to last weeks, just take one day at a time and take it slowly.
Until next week!
Sophie
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Week 18
Well I did it. I STAYED OUT OF THE FORBIDDEN ZONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YIPPIE!!!! haha Only by 100grams but that is enough for me! AND I tracked all day today AND stayed within my points! Lets take each day one step at a time ae?
Until next week
Sophie
Until next week
Sophie
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
A Little Rant & Rave
Apologies for the following post - I need to vent.
I HATE NOT BEING ABLE TO EAT WHAT I WANT WHILST HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT WHETHER I'M OVER MY POINTS ALLOWANCE FOR THE DAY OR NOT!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate wanting to say no to food but then going ahead and saying yes anyway. IT'S MORE SATISFYING WRITING IN CAPITALS SO THIS IS HOW IT'S GOING TO BE FOR THE REST OF THE POST. SORRY. I HAVE JUST EATEN A GOOD COUPLE OF CHUNKS OF CHOCOLATE CAKE. I CAUGHT MYSELF STUFFING OVEN FRIES INTO MY MOUTH. I SAT WITH A SMALL MIXING BOWL FULL OF POPCORN COVERED IN OIL SALT AND ICING SUGAR ON MY LAP THE OTHER DAY AND ATE IT ALL. I AM FAILING MISREABLY AT THIS WHOLE WEIGHT LOSS THING. I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT I WILL BE OVER 90 KILOS TOMORROW AFTER I FOUGHT SO LONG TO GET UNDER IT I KNOW I WILL BE OVER IT TOMORROW. Rebekah, if you see this before tomorrows meeting, I don't want to come and I don't want to know if I'm over 90 or not... Back to ranting. I know these cycles quite well now. I'll track for a week or two, lose a bit of weight, sort of track, sort of lose weight but gain a bit, and then there's the stuff your face part where I eat anything and everything in my sight, and then straight after that it's the beat yourself up and feeling INCREDIBLY guilty and sick and want to just somehow break through this wall that is stopping me getting to the end of this journey. Help me? Someone or something? Anyone one got a really big hammer that they want to lend me so I can smash down this lovely big wall that I have gotten to know oh so very well over the past couple of months? I want that feeling of 'yes I can do it and I want to do this' that I had at the beginning of my journey. It was so easy then and it was so nice ot know that I was actually doing something about my weight, but now it's just depressing. I know I can say no to food but it's like I don't want to... it's like I'm holding onto something that has 'controlled' my life and it ain't letting go and it sucks! Who wants to do this for me? Any volunteers? Anyone??? Why does it have to be so hard? Why does this seem to become the main focus of your life when you're doing it? Did you know I've noticed things changing as I've put on weight. My face is a little rounder, my hands are a tad chubbier and my thighs a little wobblier... All the things that I didn't miss are starting to come back and I'm starting to be fat again. I've always been the fat girl and finally for once in my life, people were calling me slim and skinny and saying how hot and good I look and I believed it and knew it for myself. Finally believed it. Do I believe it still? Nope. Not at this very moment. I want to get back there. I want to go back to the happy and confident girl that I have been over the past couple of months. Over this past year actually... I keep making these goals and promises to myself but there's a voice in my head that tells me that I won't make it, that I won't be able to say no to that bowl of ice cream or that piece of cake. I need a plan I think.
Thanks for listening to Sophie rant. Tune in next time to hear more of her lovely struggles in her weight loss journey.
I HATE NOT BEING ABLE TO EAT WHAT I WANT WHILST HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT WHETHER I'M OVER MY POINTS ALLOWANCE FOR THE DAY OR NOT!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate wanting to say no to food but then going ahead and saying yes anyway. IT'S MORE SATISFYING WRITING IN CAPITALS SO THIS IS HOW IT'S GOING TO BE FOR THE REST OF THE POST. SORRY. I HAVE JUST EATEN A GOOD COUPLE OF CHUNKS OF CHOCOLATE CAKE. I CAUGHT MYSELF STUFFING OVEN FRIES INTO MY MOUTH. I SAT WITH A SMALL MIXING BOWL FULL OF POPCORN COVERED IN OIL SALT AND ICING SUGAR ON MY LAP THE OTHER DAY AND ATE IT ALL. I AM FAILING MISREABLY AT THIS WHOLE WEIGHT LOSS THING. I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT I WILL BE OVER 90 KILOS TOMORROW AFTER I FOUGHT SO LONG TO GET UNDER IT I KNOW I WILL BE OVER IT TOMORROW. Rebekah, if you see this before tomorrows meeting, I don't want to come and I don't want to know if I'm over 90 or not... Back to ranting. I know these cycles quite well now. I'll track for a week or two, lose a bit of weight, sort of track, sort of lose weight but gain a bit, and then there's the stuff your face part where I eat anything and everything in my sight, and then straight after that it's the beat yourself up and feeling INCREDIBLY guilty and sick and want to just somehow break through this wall that is stopping me getting to the end of this journey. Help me? Someone or something? Anyone one got a really big hammer that they want to lend me so I can smash down this lovely big wall that I have gotten to know oh so very well over the past couple of months? I want that feeling of 'yes I can do it and I want to do this' that I had at the beginning of my journey. It was so easy then and it was so nice ot know that I was actually doing something about my weight, but now it's just depressing. I know I can say no to food but it's like I don't want to... it's like I'm holding onto something that has 'controlled' my life and it ain't letting go and it sucks! Who wants to do this for me? Any volunteers? Anyone??? Why does it have to be so hard? Why does this seem to become the main focus of your life when you're doing it? Did you know I've noticed things changing as I've put on weight. My face is a little rounder, my hands are a tad chubbier and my thighs a little wobblier... All the things that I didn't miss are starting to come back and I'm starting to be fat again. I've always been the fat girl and finally for once in my life, people were calling me slim and skinny and saying how hot and good I look and I believed it and knew it for myself. Finally believed it. Do I believe it still? Nope. Not at this very moment. I want to get back there. I want to go back to the happy and confident girl that I have been over the past couple of months. Over this past year actually... I keep making these goals and promises to myself but there's a voice in my head that tells me that I won't make it, that I won't be able to say no to that bowl of ice cream or that piece of cake. I need a plan I think.
Thanks for listening to Sophie rant. Tune in next time to hear more of her lovely struggles in her weight loss journey.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Week 17
Before I begin, I would like to apologise for any really dumb errors in this post. It is late and I am tired.
I had a fantastic Easter and I am feeling fantastic about myself. I look hot, feel beautiful (as much as I hate the word for some reason), and also feel quite slim as everyone keeps telling me! Tip - don't see really close friends for a couple of months and lose 2 kilos and you'll get compliments galore when you see them next. You appreciate them more for some reason.
Anyway, enough with the babbling. I gained a great big 2.2 kilos this week. Yippie! I don't actually care to be quite honest. I feel fantastic, look even better and it was Easter. What do you expect? My goal this week however is to track and plan the whole week so I'm not screwed when it comes to eating. So fingers crossed ae?
Until next week!
Sophie
I had a fantastic Easter and I am feeling fantastic about myself. I look hot, feel beautiful (as much as I hate the word for some reason), and also feel quite slim as everyone keeps telling me! Tip - don't see really close friends for a couple of months and lose 2 kilos and you'll get compliments galore when you see them next. You appreciate them more for some reason.
Anyway, enough with the babbling. I gained a great big 2.2 kilos this week. Yippie! I don't actually care to be quite honest. I feel fantastic, look even better and it was Easter. What do you expect? My goal this week however is to track and plan the whole week so I'm not screwed when it comes to eating. So fingers crossed ae?
Until next week!
Sophie
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Week 16
I lost 900 grams this week :D I'm very happy.
I would like to share a realisation that I had over this week with you. Over the past year, I've been so focused on loosing the weight that I need to that I haven't really been able to step back and acknowledge the awesome work that I have achieved. I've lost 26.2 kilos over 1 year! That is soo much! I've just come home for my 'study break' (cough cough :P) and my suitcase for the time here was about 21 kilos, and Oh. My. Gosh. It was soooo heavy, I have no idea how I ever carried that amount of weight around 24/7. I've lost a lot, which is awesome. I also realised this week that I've been so focused on loosing the weight that I haven't actually been focusing on some internal issues that I have like the way that I see myself. So, what I'm going to try and do is focus more on the way that I view myself more than the weight loss side of things. I'm still going to track and be conscious of what I'm eating, but that isn't going to be my main focus. In my opinion, it's great loosing weight, but if you don't value the work and effort that you've put in over the journey, and you don't value yourself in the way that you look then the weight loss isn't going to be as rewarding as it could be and it isn't going to take away any self esteem issues that you may be dealing with (unfortunately!). I've still got my goal to reach by the end of June, but the number on the scale isn't going to control me!
Think of me when you're in your nice warm beds this weekend - I'm off to Easter Camp to sleep on an air bed and be freezing cold :P Going to be heaps of fun though! CAN'T WAIT!!!!
Have a great week and Happy Easter!
Sophie
I would like to share a realisation that I had over this week with you. Over the past year, I've been so focused on loosing the weight that I need to that I haven't really been able to step back and acknowledge the awesome work that I have achieved. I've lost 26.2 kilos over 1 year! That is soo much! I've just come home for my 'study break' (cough cough :P) and my suitcase for the time here was about 21 kilos, and Oh. My. Gosh. It was soooo heavy, I have no idea how I ever carried that amount of weight around 24/7. I've lost a lot, which is awesome. I also realised this week that I've been so focused on loosing the weight that I haven't actually been focusing on some internal issues that I have like the way that I see myself. So, what I'm going to try and do is focus more on the way that I view myself more than the weight loss side of things. I'm still going to track and be conscious of what I'm eating, but that isn't going to be my main focus. In my opinion, it's great loosing weight, but if you don't value the work and effort that you've put in over the journey, and you don't value yourself in the way that you look then the weight loss isn't going to be as rewarding as it could be and it isn't going to take away any self esteem issues that you may be dealing with (unfortunately!). I've still got my goal to reach by the end of June, but the number on the scale isn't going to control me!
Think of me when you're in your nice warm beds this weekend - I'm off to Easter Camp to sleep on an air bed and be freezing cold :P Going to be heaps of fun though! CAN'T WAIT!!!!
Have a great week and Happy Easter!
Sophie
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